Yesterday, I literally painted all day long…from morning ‘till night. These days, a rather rare occurrence as I split my time producing lessons, at the computer and well just running a small business. It doesn’t always leave much time for the easel. But the more I paint, the more I understand just how important the uninterrupted, permission time in the studio is.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have a plan or a structure, I do, but I need time. Even if it’s just to sit there and stare at the paintings. The stuff I’m doing now, is harder than the pastels. I don’t know where I’m headed with any of them. I’m finding my way as I go. The paintings tell me, rather than the other way around. That’s what make them interesting and challenging to do.
I have to figure out new ways to make the marks. Do I draw, do I paint? Is it thick paint or thin paint? Do I stay literal or do I head towards abstraction? How much influence from reference or other artists do I let in? These are just some of the struggles.
I realize that I have to allow myself to get out of the way of the painting. I have to see it and give it it’s way and not fight it. Beauty is always there, all I really have to do is sucede to it. That seems like it would be easy, but it’s not! It is surrender. That means letting go of all the notions of myself as an artist, all my skills, knowledge, experience, blah, blah, blah about how I think a painting should be and letting the painting as it is show up.
At the end of the day, feel tired from being on my feet all day but it’s a really good tired. I also feel extremely grateful to all those who have supported me, so I can be in this stream. You know who you are!