It’s Monday…and I took it upon myself to start the week off by sleeping in for once. Then slowly but deliberately got myself going for the day. I have lots of deadlines, real and imagined ones that I think in my head I should be attending to today; my website, mini-lessons that I’m behind on, new DVD series, promotions and last but certainly not least, painting.
But as I was having my tea, then mediating I began to realize how my attention is going in various directions. What is the meaning of all of that? Why? Does it ever end, our striving and seeking to finally get it all together. If I could just get this one project completed, I’d be settled or happy or whatever! Life isn’t about that really. There is no ultimately satisfying act or completion or any “thing” after which we can say “now I’m done”. At least not until death!
So, when I get up and feel some sort of pressure to get it all “done”, I have to examine that and observe it more carefully and see that for what it is. It’s just not true. So, as I get the little bits “done” and move through my day, any kind of satisfaction is in being settled with being unsettled. It’s OK. It’s OK to feel unsettled. Feel it.
I spent some time in my new backyard which is graced with a lovely little lilac tree/bush in the center. Now, when I moved in this sort of oddly placed and funny little tree was just a curiosity. I had no idea what it was. I considered removing it because it was smack in the middle of the yard. But, I put some Christmas lights on it and began to enjoy it’s unusual charm. I called it my Edward Scissorhands tree. I had a wonderful landscape designer come and consult with me on the yard and she told me it was a lilac. Still, I was not that enthralled. I thought maybe it was some lesser kind of variety with small flowers. I don’t know why I thought that, (more thinking, thinking). Of course this little tree has revealed itself to me. As a child, the smell of lilacs was thick in the spring air and has since been a source of comfort and joy. My funny little tree will stay exactly where it is. It’s OK, it’s more than OK.
Getting things done, persisting even when conditions seem very good, even when conditions seem very bad….or not getting anything at all done.
Here are a couple of blogs that you might find interesting. http://brittbsteele.com/blog .
Britte is a yoga teacher and just a higher being. Addicted to Veggies is a great blog that has raw and vegetarian recipes. Now I’m not preaching, just saying that these two ladies have helped me to “feel” better in my life.
I realize this post may not seem to have much to do about painting, but it actually does have everything to do about painting if you are a painter or want to be a painter, need to be a painter.
3 thoughts on “Is It Enough?”
This happens to me. I have been there thinking if I get it all done I will be happy. Its something we create to give meaning to the craziness of managing many tasks at once.
I want to paint. Write in the blog. Do CrossFit. Do my engineering job right. Walk my dog more often… Ugh.
Sometimes I step back and look at it and I am glad I have all those things. Otherwise we would have no purpose.
Thank you so much for putting together the on-line pastel workshop course! You taught me more in one lesson than I had learned in reading dozens of books. You are talented at both art AND teaching, and I count being able to take your on-line course as a real blessing in my life. The critiques you give are pure genius and really help all of us grow as artists. Anyone reading this – run, don't walk, to sign up for her classes. They are really that good.
I also have a lilac tree in the backyard and I love the fragrance!